a gardener with cartloads of plums
fermented the lot in some drums
when friends came to stay
he noticed that they
had problems in doing their sums

The products of the fermentation of fruits have been an integral part of many societies since Australopithecus sucked rotten apples during their autumn festivities. The Homo genus and its precursors have evolved a close association with yeasts such as Saccharomyces and the products of fermentation for millions of years. Our present sapiens species, being wiser... especially in its self-assessment... has developed the production of the drug involved to a high level of refinement. Any gardener that is low on friend numbers, need only to collect a variety of fruits in season, indulge in some back-room zymolysis, filter off the fluids into any spare amphora, and the situation will be rectified within a few weeks.

zymolysis ferments the drink
and sapiens thinks it can think
but after its drunk
and heads have gone thunk
the plot has went glug down the sink

Alcohol alters reality away from normal expectations. Impatient or bored with the natural rate of chaotic disruptions, humans imbibe the alcoholic waste products of the yeast, because of its established influence on disrupting nurtured behaviour. The tedious uneventfulness of daily living can be stimulated by provoking events over a shorter time scale. These events can range from the beneficial to the catastrophic and can have the effect of accelerating the process of evolutionary birth and death. Relationships between the reticent are facilitated, unplanned conceptions are initiated, private opinions are promulgated, and violent extremes indulged in. Like most drugs, a surfeit of the molecules of the carboniferous culprit C₂H₅OH is a toxin in excess, with often quite undesirable consequences for health. It produces, amongst other things, a diminished computational ability, and since it is invariably self-administered, over-dosing is commonplace and vulnerability substantially increased.

The allure of its recreational use can be almost irresistible. The desired counterpoint to the hard labour of economic survival seems to be quickly facilitated. In spite of frequent disastrous consequences, the capacity to invoke opposites makes it an attractive ingredient in the phase transition from occupation to recreation. The taciturn become loquacious, the hesitant become bold, the reluctant become willing, and the anxious become convivial. With ample lubrication, it is even possible to be entertained by very bad comedians. By simply using all the words that the local polite society exclude from their public discourse, they imagine they have a comic grasp of the absurdity of the cosmos.

When commercial manufacture is sanctioned, hypocrisy abounds. Consumption is both vigorously encouraged and discouraged at the same time. Education will end up being touted as the means whereby abuse can be moderated, but advanced courses and certification qualifications will also be available for the production of the substance in large quantities. Anguished political noises are emitted decrying the death and disorder caused by immoderate use. Yet at the same time the barons of production are honoured for the size of the wealth pyramid that keeps their anus well above the mayhem.