A miracle is an event, improbable, ordinary or both, which is chosen by the advertising organization of a chain of religious outlets to be labelled as such. They are one of the principal propaganda initiatives to ensure the tenure of the virtual director. Firstly, the self-appointed representatives of the virtual board chairman exercise their delegated responsibility by presenting apologies and explanations with respect to the circumstances which prevent the attendance of the director at general meetings. Secondly, once the business plan has been received and authorised for action by the delegated proxy, the confidence of the meeting is invariably obtained. Finally, in order to pre-empt any move from the floor to vote the chairman off the board, information about the series of miraculous events planned for the next ecclesiastic period is presented to the meeting. Ritualistic invocation is then often performed in an attempt to induce chaotic unpredictabilities attributable to the absent chief executive. If perchance an event does occur with sufficient approximation to the aspirations of the invocation, it is then officially designated and labelled as a miracle, and unequivocally attributed to the power and control of the director.

Hindsight however is a preferable strategy, because it is more convenient to identify certain events which have already occurred, as being suitable examples of the inexplicably miraculous. Such events are more clearly defined and carefully controlled. There is also the added advantage of not needing to provide convoluted explanations when it becomes obvious that the invocation request method was not productive. These events, so designated as being unpredictable, are then promoted under the general genre of 'miracles', and carefully stage-managed to maximize the continued significance and influence of the virtual chief executive. Normally... as a security measure to ensure that the wonderful nature of such events is protected... the authenticity of all sceptics accreditations is vigorously repudiated in the media.

The unlimited tolerance and understanding of the shareholders is nothing short of admirable. After annihilating thousands upon thousands of unsuspecting individuals during the process of demolishing a city by earthquake, tidal wave or volcanic eruption, the suitability of the omnipotent virtual director to continue in the job is unhesitatingly confirmed, since the act of leaving a few individuals alive is to be rejoiced as being a miracle.